What Your Aging Parent Wants from You


Watching a parent grow older can feel challenging, especially if they have poor health. If your mom or dad’s mobility is impaired, they are living with dementia, or they have a life-altering medical condition, you might be eager to help them as much as possible.

Yet, despite your best intentions, your efforts might affect your mom or dad’s confidence, happiness, or sense of independence. As a result, you may face arguments about their care, as they might become reluctant to accept your help or advice.

If you don’t want to experience conflict, you must identify your mistakes and find ways to help your mom or dad in a way that suits you both. Continue reading to learn what your aging parent wants from you.

Dignity and Respect

Your mom or dad will have dedicated a large portion of their life to caring for your every need. As a result, they might find it difficult to feel reliant on you for support and may reject your help or appear overly sensitive at times.

For this reason, you must try to help your parent maintain their dignity and respect as much as possible. For example, they might put up a fight about you helping them into the bath or shower. If so, it might be easier to ask another loved one or a home carer to perform the tasks.


If your parent has good cognitive function, they will not appreciate you making plans for their future without their input. If you believe the time has come for your mom or dad to enter an assisted living facility, you must involve them in the discussion and allow them to select the best option for their taste and needs.

If you believe a specific facility is a great option for an aging parent, you could recommend the facility and organize a visit to help them make an informed choice. If you find a senior living facility that is safe, clean, and visually appealing, they might feel more comfortable about saying goodbye to their home. Click here for more info.

Quality Time

If you spend most of a visit checking your mom or dad’s tablets, asking about their water consumption, or chastising their poor diet choices, they might feel like a patient and not your parent. As important as their health is to you, you must ensure their needs don’t dominate every conversation you have together.

Try to naturally incorporate any questions into a conversation and find ways to spend more quality time with your mom or dad. For example, you could watch a movie, go for a walk, or take them out for lunch. The more quality time you spend together, the less conflict you might experience each visit.

If you treat your aging parent with dignity and respect, involve them in each decision, and aim to spend more quality time together, you might find it easier to care for their every need throughout the years.

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